About The Diamond Net
Hello, my name is Emerald and welcome to The Diamond Net. If you're looking to understand more about yourself and the human condition, then you've come to the right place. My videos give tools, alternate mental frameworks, and processes to help you work through issues that many people face at some point in their life. Beginning on November 21st, I will be posting two videos a week on topics including spirituality, emotions, psychology, personal development, social issues, as well as book reviews, Q & A, and overviews of different techniques you can use to become more conscious of your authentic self and the world around you.
Why I Created The Diamond Net
My inspiration to create The Diamond Net came from a series of life events. When I was sixteen years old, I began to see the world through the lens of personal achievement, which is very common in our society. I thought that my primary value was that I was intelligent, virtuous, and hardworking, and the world smiled upon me for it. I became a work-a-holic, and this became the primary focus of my life. I told myself that I could never fail and I semi-unconsciously thought of myself as the ideal person. However, when I turned 20, my facade of perfection and the life I had built for myself began to unravel all at once. I began failing at everything in life, and all the aspects of myself that I had repressed to maintain my strong persona started to bubble back up to the surface of my consciousness in their worst forms.
During this time, I also experienced a brief episode of ego dissolution and consciousness expansion where I got a very palpable sense that all my strivings existed only to cover over deep feelings of self-hate and a fear of insignificance. Many insights came like this one. During that brief experience, I also felt intimately connected to and at total peace with myself and the world around me in a way that I hadn't felt since childhood. I was in a state of unconditional love and in such a state of acceptance that all of the repressed aspects of myself that lay hidden in my subconscious became conscious once more. I loved even my most hated traits and all the issues of the world left me unmoved in a state of equanimity. I felt like a whole person and it was the most beautiful feeling that I've ever experienced. I was finally able to let myself just be.
But I quickly fell back asleep into a state of fear and resistance to my authentic self. So, in hopes of recreating that amazing feeling, I decided that I needed to get rid of drives for worldly success and excellence. I became more modest in my goals, partially suppressed my work ethic, and repressed my drive for excellence and competition as much as possible. What I didn't realize until recently is that I had fallen on the other side of the horse. I was still being inauthentic only this time I was confused and pulling myself in two different directions. I had one foot in life and one foot out of life.
So, I stagnated and suffered alone with my mental struggles until I was 23, when I began finding resources to help me understand what I had experienced. Prior to that, I felt powerless and like I had no bearings on what I should do with my life. Was I supposed to live up on a mountain and meditate for 20 years? With how amazing that experience was, it would totally be worth it. But that path made no sense to me. Why not engage in life if life is what I've been given?
So, in hopes of helping people move towards wholeness and authenticity, I have created The Diamond Net. Here I will lay down concepts and processes that I wish I had known when I was 20, that would have helped me move through this dark night of the soul more quickly. So, whether you come to The Diamond Net from a state of curiosity or from a state of need, I'm happy to be able to help.